Did a bit of morning reading before coming across this post in Hellogigles. And then I read, there was the pictures of Gaga in her undies. The first thing that struck me was how she wasn't stick thin, as percieved by everyone else. The second thing was how beautiful her complexion was. The third was that she had beautiful, long brown hair
It occurs to me that as I'm writing this, I already have thought of what to eat for dinner. One of the grilled sandwiches from last night and half a pomegranate, I am taking control of what I eat, no doubt.
And then I remember that I'm supposed to be going to Heidelberg the next day and wondering if eating the sandwich later is a good idea or not. Oh well, I still have the waffles, oranges and bananas.
I'll admit it outright. I want to be thin, have beautiful complexion and short black hair. So when I saw Gaga's photos, the first thing that jumped at me was: You need to lose weight.
Hell Yeah. I'm about 55kg, fit into a EU size 36 for clothes and 38/40 for shoes( I'm a 39 actually). 36 is the smallest size they stock for clothes, and any smaller I need to go to the children's department. That's not the point. The Point is that I want to be thin! True story: I always envied my sister for being rail thin. The problem is that when I tried to do what she did, it didn't work and the curves were starting to appear (major source of embarrassment).
I just realised the jeggings i bought from primark were a size 34. No one it fits a bit too well and everyone's staring up my ass whenever I try it on. I haven't worn them out yet.
Gaga also has beautiful skin. I want beautiful skin. I will clean out my diet of all the trash that I will not eat. Health freak much. Oops. I really hated when my little sister screamed "body acne!!!!!!" when she saw me wearing a sleeveless shirt. It's relatively much better now, but the scars are still there.
I want flawless skin.. Not the kind with scars, blemishes and blackheads. Although I don't have any blackheads yet, but you know what I mean. Before coming here, my skin wasn't as good as it used to be. Even during the project days it wasn't that good.
A beauty website suggested to perfect skin, I "bathe in cold water" cause hot water destroys the lipids and my body ends up producing more oil to make up for it. It also suggested that I submerge my head in the sink for 3-5 minutes to let the skin absorb what it needs. Yeah right. By the time I reemerge I would have died, thank you very much,
But coming here seems to make it worse. I'm starting to think that I'm cursed with something. I think I have it, but maintaining it is another issue.
And of course, the hair problem. I now like to know which part of me is problem free. Appears none of it is. It's black but somewhat brown, yes I know what, but its damn dry and there's freaking dust everywhere. I need a vacuum or some sort.
Dust is always my big problem. Now I need to buy a vacuum and Induction cooker, power extension cord, cotton wool..
See all these things I do for my skin. And sanity.
Now I hope everything costs below €35..
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