Death and all his friends

Hi.
I spend too much time reading about Plato. Not that he's handsome or anything, but what he says makes sense.

 Like: Soul = simple & unchanging = able to understand ideals like beauty and justice
Also : Soul = constantly changing to our needs and beliefs = still able to understand ideals like beauty and justice.

And also : Souls are recycled, please don't make the same mistakes over and over again. Gonna incur alot of karma debt that way.

I'm tired of making the same mistakes. Tired of feeling depressed or upset when I learn about a death of somebody I know. There are 2 reasons why I probably feel that:
1. I'm experiencing a loss.
2. I don't understand death. I fear the feeling of seeing somebody I know lying in a coffin.

I cannot do anything about number 1. I still can do something about number 2. Plato's Phaedro makes alot of sense here.

It also tells alot about myself:
a) I find the dualist view on death easier to understand. Soul + body = living human.
and
 b) I spend too much of my conscious time in the second realm of thought.

A soul has 3 parts. One is tied to willpower
                             Another is tied to reasoning
                             The last is tied to the body.

Willpower first started out as a powder puff. Many a times in my youth if I wanted something, I would start working towards it, but after a while it kinda died down. Now? As much as I like to get something started, I also would like as much as to end it. Willpower now blazes up a forest. Whatever I have now, in this point of time, didn't come for free. People used to pay the price for me in the past. I now have to do all the paying myself.
Reasoning, along with time, grew as well. Sometimes I would give in to reasoning. Sometimes I would not listen to it. But provoke me enough and I might just start shooting questions that you might not be able to answer. Nothing a better sight than being unable refute your own argument. The best part: Fantastic deterrent for dealing with people I don't particularly like. Even better: It adds on every time I read. Who said being a nerd was bad?
I'm afraid the last part doesn't seem to exist at all. I feel stuff like hunger or thirst, but I'm not slave to its constant demands. I can live with a bit of pain or without companionship, but I find that I don't cave in to peer pressure or trends. I stand in the train reading a book when most are staring at their phones. I have a strange urge to write everything down instead of relying on digital stuff. I don't watch TV. There is lack a programme that interesting that I would resolve to spend time watching it.

I'm practicing death. I'm seperating my mind from my body as much as possible, spending much of it on thought, instead of slaving to my body's constant demands. What is defined as "to live"? Is it spending time doing what you're supposed to? Or to spend time having as many different experiences as possible, and learning what you can about them? So did I actually spend my time living the life I want or preparing for my death?

"To live is to learn how to die", that's what they told me. I haven't gotten very far.